


Love you like yesterday

by SaturdaykNight



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Amnesia, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, M/M, New kyungsoo falling in love, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-07 15:25:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18236741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaturdaykNight/pseuds/SaturdaykNight
Summary: Kyungsoo was diagnosed with retrograde amnesia after encountering traffic accidents on his way to seoul. He woke up remembering himself as a 21 year old college student. He remembered his friends Baekhyun and Jongdae but doesn’t seem to recognize the tall bronze man with the most beautiful honey brown eyes besides his bed.





	Love you like yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Im very new to ao3 and im still very unfamiliar with the features. i've been on wattpad for three years (same username) and i'm here to test it out with these one shots!  
> Also, please excuse my typos, grammatical and medical error in this fic.  
> and This is my first time writing first person narrative jikjdfjl

Bright light, all i see is blinding white cast. It feels as if i am getting a glimpse of heaven. My head hurts a ton, my body is paralyzed but feels like jelly at the same time. Regardless, I try to focus my non existence energy on my vision. Soon, the blurriness is subsiding and i can see human forms. Two of them, no, three..or is it four? Fuck, this is ridiculous. Am I dying? I force my eyes to shut and re open it the second time.

Baekhyun, Jongdae are at the foot of my bed and the other taller guy who i have no idea of besides my bed wearing a frown. I can also see my leg being hung upward with cast. Why am i in the hospital. I try recalling memories but i can't. I don't understand it. I only remember getting out of school to my dorm and that's it. i snap out of my thought once i hear Baekhyun's voice constantly calling my name.

"baek?" i call him out. I need answers.

"Soo! Are you okay? Can you remember??" Baekhyun starts to fire me with tons of other question after that in which Jongdae tried to hold him back from doing so then i hear baekhyun ushering Jongdae to call for the doctor.

Before i can answer anything, the doctor knocks gently on the door before intruding. He sits right on the chair besides my bed and checking his paper on the clipboard.

"Good Evening Mr. Do. How are you feeling?" I just tell him i feel wobbly and numb especially in my head. "okay Mr. Do, now if you please answer some questions. We need to check up on your condition" I just nod. "alright, Can you please give me a brief self introduction? name, age, occupation, hobby.." He proceeds.

"I'm..Do Kyungsoo" Baekhyun then jumps around and shrieks at Jongdae "and i'm..21, i think. i'm a college student majoring in literature and creative writing. I write as a hobby" Silence engulfs the room and all of my friends and this other random guy who i still have no idea of, stand still as if they are frozen. What's with their reactions.

"well, Mr. Do. it seems like you have retrograde amnesia according to your brain scan. the blow slight;y damage your hippocampus which is a structure of the brain that associates with memory functions. As you can see you also fractured ankle and bruised forearm. but the fracture was not severe so please rest assure"

This first sentence already shoot my anxiety out of nowhere. He's lying. I don't have amnesia, i'm perfectly normal. i remember who i am- "we are in year 2019. you are currently 26 years old". Words immediately stuck in my dry throat. I can't speak or express anything. My whole world came crashing down. 26? that's like 5 years of memories that i missed. I forget about my graduation, my job and how my life progresses since then, did i manage to chase my dream, i missed out on all that and it is scary to think that i am completely unaware of my past. The doctor then adjust my ivy drip and replaces the bandage on my head then leave us back alone after he told me that he will come back later.

I'm finally able to take a good look at the guy who is standing all these times "excuse me..but who are you" I ask. Baekhyun was about to jump as if he wants to cut the conversation but the taller guy signals him to stay put. He looks at me with a restraint frown where his eyes stare deep into mine. I have a feeling we could be very close and I will be guilt trip for not recognizing him.

"I'm Kim jongin..." he murmured softly and by this time both Baekhyun and Jongdae all scurry their way out of the room, leaving just the both of us. "Are you feeling alright?" He sat down on the doctor's chair and says in the most gentle tone i've ever heard. It sends me shivers down my spine.

"well, as i told the doctor" i tell him. Maybe is sounded rude? He still smiled softly and I couldn't help but keeping my eyes as wide as possible. I'm sure i look like a complete idiot right now "can you please tell me who you are? are you close with me? how have i been living and how have i become like this?" i questioned him again in which he seems hesitant to talk.

"we're more than close, soo.." His eyes got teary while he squeezes my hands. My heart was thumping, anticipating the answer, all of my attentions are fully drawn toward him and him only. "we're each other's everything..'' he cries and i just gulp down. My instinct tells me to wipe his tear and i do so. His eyes are too beautiful to be blurred out by it. "We have been dating for over 3 years, soo...we live together"

my boyfriend? My first thought is how did i land myself such handsome looking guy. I know this is quite insensitive of me but i can't help it that i forget everything, most importantly, i forget that i loved him.

"You encountered a car accident on your way to Seoul from an event" he pauses before continues "you have no idea how heart wrenching it was receiving the news that you were admitted to the hospital in a critical condition that put your life at stake. I was so scared..i thought i'd lose you." he sniffs from all the crying then runs his palm over my nape, softly pushing my head toward his shoulder and embraces me. He does feel like home. He feels like someone I'd entrust my life with. He was really careful not to touch my wounded head. All i can say to him is sorry. I'm sorry that he has to love me when I can't return it to him. I'm sorry that he is a stranger to me now.

A few days in the hospital with Jongin accompanying me, receiving medication and consultant with therapist, scheduling appointment in hope to one day regain my memories. My ankle, although it doesn't really hurt anymore I still won't be able to walk for the next month, or that's what the nurse told me and today I'm fully discharged from the hospital dealing with this new life, new ignorant life. Jongin kindly carries me off the bed to the wheelchair and to the car. He said we live together...what does our home look like, i wonder.

He pushes the door open after he punches in the passcode. He tells me the password to our home since i forgot about it. Pushing my wheelchair to the couch, he assists me to sit on the soft cushion. Anything is nicer than the hospital bed. I start to scan my eyes around the interior design of the house. There are two big windows on either sides of the walls, decorating with pots of cactus, asparagus ferns, aloe and even Peperomia on the bottom frame. The designs do remind me of my college dorm, especially the houseplants. Besides the TV, there are two bookshelves and I do recognize a proportion of them to be my books that i bought during high school up to college. The rest could be mine and Jongin's. He did mention that i got him into reading. Smile unconsciously creeps on my face knowing that Jongin was kind enough to appreciate his love for literature. Jongin comes sit beside me on the couch with a glass of cold water and some fruits as if i hadn't had enough of them at the hospital that Baekhyun and Jongdae pitched in.

"So, uhm..yeah. This is where we live." he shyly scratches his nape "we share the same room as well because, you know.." I blush at the information "but since, uh...i'm obviously kind of like a stranger to you now, i understand if you don't like the idea of sharing a bed anymore. i can move to the guestroom.." His smile falters and I suddenly feel bad all over again. He doesn't deserve this.

Jongin teaches and tells me about my daily routine. What I do on weekday and weekend. I was ecstatic to know that I'm one of the best selling author under the pen name D.O. and kept my identity hidden which i'm not surprised about the name because I remember choosing this particular name when i was a freshman in college, who was still dreaming about publishing his own book one day. It was just a silly dream to become an author but hearing that it had become a reality astounds me. Things are too good to be true. I have a successful career, have a goddamn handsome boyfriend and a decent apartment? what on earth.

It was useless trying to get to know the old me before the incident when I still have bandaged head, medical casting on my ankle and a wrapped forearm. There's not much i can do independently. Fortunately, Jongin is nothing but being very patient. He took a break from his job to look after me. He told me he owns a coffee shop anyway so it's kind like taking days off. He helps me change my bandage and support my mobility when i'm walking with the support of my crutches, assisted me with my clothes which is the most embarrassing part of all. The tips of my ears always flush red at the thought of him seeing my body..which..he probably had seen many times but still....

These two days are just full of my trying to get to know myself. Jongin got me to read my own books, He took me out then to my agency and showed them my medical record of my illness and pronounced my hiatus. I got to know my colleague and people I was once close with. They all looked upset that i didn't recognize any of them but at the same time they were all understanding. It motivates me to try my hardest so i can regain my memories. I also spend the day trying to log into my phone, remembering my bank account passwords, my personal SNS account. Thankfully, everything has the same password since high school and were saved into my notes. I have this habit of having the same one or two passwords for everything. It's funny how my ankle was fractured, my forearm was almost burnt and my brain is obviously damaged from the accident but my phone is still intact. the doctor found it in my pocket along with my wallet. Out of all the things.

Getting into the shower as usual, I set the towel on the sink and grab my bottle of body wash and Shampoo. The doctor doesn't recommend frequent shower because the moisture could seep into the wounds but I need to wash my hair, it's been like what? a week? i feel very greasy. The shampoo was on the top of the cabinet. did i store it there? I question myself because my height isn't convenient for such placement. Before reaching out, i struggled with my ankle a bit. My other leg is the only support while my other arm is used as leverage. I knock out a few bottles on the way before managing to get the shampoo in my grasp.

Immediately, Jongin busts in the bathroom, my arm slips off the sink from being startled. I shut my eyes preparing for the worst but a pair of arms stopped me from kissing the floor. That was when my soul left my body. I slowly relax my eyes that were forced to squeeze shut then flutter open. Jongin's face is 1 inch away from me, his pupils are scanning over every part of my face. I sigh in relieve knowing i'm not gonna break another leg or arm. He gently lifts me and sits me on the large marble sink with an irritated look on this face. He looks mad. I'm once again guilty. I try not to look at his eyes but he comb his hair with his hand and exhales deeply before his gazes switch back at me. i know what he's going to say.

"god, Soo. You almost slipped and fell what the hell are you doing?" He asks in a demanding tone but also very held back. i can sense his gentleness in his voice still and it kind of melts me (weird).

"i was only slipping because i got startled by you busting in out of nowhere" i look down..unintentionally form a small pout to display my apology.

"I busted in because I heard you knocking bottles. i thought something happen. I can't help but keeping my senses sharp around you." His expression softens a bit afterward. much better.

"i..was trying to reach for the shampoo bottle..i know i should've just asked you to do it for me but.." I plead. I sense Jongin's hand brushing my short hair from side to side and ruffles it a bit

"okay.." he sighs once again "i'm sorry for startling you. wait a bit i'm fetching a smaller towel so i can wash your hair" I gap my mouth to say something but he cuts me off "not buts, Soo. your forearm isn't allowed contact with water yet especially the stitch on your head. just be cautious, okay hmm?" I stupidly blush as i give him a small obedient nod. His last 'hmm' sounds like so soft. i'm going crazy. If he keeps this up, i'm for sure gonna be head over heels over him.

He comes back with a face towel hooking onto his broad shoulder and scoops me off the sink, carefully lowers me down outside the tub, my back against the tub's marble tile as he climbs in, adjusting my neck properly. I shiver when the sensation of the cold water hits my scalp as he massages the moisture in every strand of my hair and i find myself relaxing. Once the shampoo is lathered, his fingers work their ways thru the crown of my head, to my hairline then to the back of my head and gently scratch the surface to get rid of excess oil and dirt.

"you're so good at this" i mewl, feeling the movement.

"of course I am" he chuckles "you used to get sick a lot because you stayed up very late finishing your manuscript and I'd do this" he adds. staying up late..sounds like me

"ohh.." I hate how i always bring up the past knowing it'd hurt him the most. "Jongin..." i mumble weakly "I will do my best to regain my memory back..please wait for me..don't give up on me" he washes off the shampoo then kisses my crown. My stomach is doing flips because of that.

"It's fine, soo. Don't be hard on yourself I won't go anywhere". I know i should rest assure but i can't help but thinking how hard it is for him to hold back.

Being lovers mean being intimate, sharing a heart and we probably cuddle a lot and right now I am equivalent to a new person taking over Kyungsoo's body and Jongin is like a roommate but better, sweeter and more caring...or he can be my crush. I wonder what pet name he used with the old Kyungsoo and what kind of conversation they'd be having. Maybe it's selfish for me asking him to not give up on this pathetic self. I can't help but overheating my brain with worries and doubt but my eyelids eventually grow heavier and heavier from the soothing scalp massage until they are drawn shut.

Awaken by the roughness of the towel rubbing against my head, I subconsciously groan. He later dries my hair with dryer and my lock is soft again. This is a hundred times better than carry ounces of grease on my head.

Jongin finally leaves me alone at home and goes to take care of his coffee shop business. He asks me the same question of 'are you sure you're okay alone' and tells me to call him immediately if anything happens in which i reassure him like a thousand time. Baekhyun and Jongdae come to visit after work, sometimes until Jongin comes back. The whole day is just me sitting on the couch all day or trying to walk around with crutches to the toilet or grabbing more books to read. So far, i have published 4 best selling books and this pressures me a lot. I don't know if the current me with the knowledge of my 21 year old self is capable to writing such books anymore. Pretty sure until now, i must have garnered a lot of information and experimenting many different writings until being published. LHopefully reading all my work gives me an idea of my writing style and how i developed from my college day. My phone screen lights up like a broken light bulb. I set my book down and it's a text from Jongin.

from Jongin: Soo, Do you want to eat anything? I'm on my way home, I can grab you something if you want.

Without much contemplation I text back Cheesecake and Banana muffin.

From Jongin: roger that.

Half an hour later, he gets back home with bunch of boxes and plastic bags. I didn't hear his footstep until he calls my name because i'm so focused on reading the saved drafts on my laptop, trying to read it over and over to see where did the old me want this story to go, maybe I can complete it for him or myself. He sets down the cheesecake and the muffin on the coffee table besides the couch and I ask him about his day.

Jongin plops on the couch besides me after he hangs his coat then hands me the fork for my cheesecake. I take a bite of the delectable goodness then realize it's mango cheesecake and I gasp in surprise.

"i see mango cheesecake is till your favorite? i chose that flavor out of habit" Jongin chuckles.

"are you kidding me? It's been my favorite since high school. My taste really hasn't changed, like..at all? i must be boring" i take another huge bite.

"No, you're not. Don't stress about these little things. If you love it then be it." there he goes again, being this extremely perfect guy. My heart is weakening.

I know I like him..like, a lot. I'm not oblivious to feelings I can understand why i chose to date him. He is sweet, caring and all around flawless, his face is carved my god, his eyes are like drizzles of honey and he smiles like a sun and the corner of his eyes would crinkle. I just knew when he took me home from the hospital that it's just a matter of time till he occupied my thought whole.

There is this one time when he removed the bandage off my head, our lips would almost touch and he'd retreat back very quickly as if forcing himself to retreat upon realizing and I was kind of disappointed. I know i shouldn't but i'm so stupid to expect anything. I can only imagine how much he misses the old me and how badly I want to restore my memories back. But what should i do..I fell in love with him for the second time and then I'm never the same again around him.

I come to hate myself. I start to have anxiety thinking about the future. i start to think that Jongin would only take care of me because of my injury and because he feels obligated to do so. I'm worried when my stitches are removed, when my ankle is healed, when the hardened wound on my forearm starts peeling off, When i'm fully independent to move around, when Jongin feels like his task is done and he'll leave me because times after times the voice in my head keeps telling me i'm not who he wanted. It's as dead as my memory. But i act as everything is okay, that i need to savor this moment of being pampered before it's all over.

My fears begin to become a harsh reality. My cast is off just a few days after i got my stitches removed, the doctor told me to do minimal walking for another month but i can still go around the house on my own just fine. Jongin have been coming really late. He texts me telling me to not wait for him for dinner. The next day he texts me that he won't be home for tonight and when he does come home, our dining table is engulfed by silence and awkwardness.

Tonight once again, I'm left alone in this big apartment. It's already 12 am but i can't get any more awake. My eyes are fixed in the ceiling, the only light source in the room is the moonlight casting through the window and I've never felt lonelier.

Cold tear seeps into my ears, i don't even realize that i'm crying. I just hate myself so much, i hate my fate and i hate how things turned out. Suddenly, i push myself off my bed and go through my desk, stupidly wipe the tear off my face just to be replaced by more tears. i rummage for pictures and journals and the ones on my phone. Jongin and Me celebrating my first anniversary, Jongin and me on our first trips and many trips after that, Video of Jongin surprising my birthday and vice versa, picture of us celebrating our birthday because ours are only two days apart. There is this one photograph tug between the pages of my journals, It was a side profile of Jongin leaning against the balcony blocking half of the setting sun hence the silhouette. on the next page written

"I love this man with all my heart and i feel blessed every single day waking up to such a perfect of a boyfriend. I hope i have a forever with him because everyday with him is unforgettable and i swear i fall in love with him over and over again. i will never forget this very moment for as long as i live. if fate separates us both, i hope we will find our way back to each other. Kim Jongin, I am so deeply in love with you and i will tell you this everyday. you are the color to my grey world. you are the light during the dark. you are my compass and i'd give up anything for you"

I scream with all my might, until my throat feels constricted. I bring my knee to my face and cry until i feel dehydrated. My head hurts but i dont care. I fucking hate you so much, Do kyungsoo. You are now a useless piece of trash, you hurt the only man who loves you, you do not deserve any of his sympathy or attention or love. I keep telling myself as my hand balls up into a fist and knocking myself on my head. "remember! REMEMBER! Remember the past" I Shout as i continue to hit myself "why can't you fucking remember!!". My wrist is caught by a hand. I look up trying to figure who it was behind a thick layer of pooling tears. Jongin.. I'm definitely hallucinating. He said he won't be home tonight. It can't be him. I'm so tired of dreaming but then his picture comes clear once he kneels down to my level.

"What are you doing, Soo!" That gentle voice again. Why can't he just tells me he hates me so I don't doubt myself. I'm exhausted, I don't know what to say to him. I feel embarrassed that he sees me in this devastating state and all the mess on the floor. "goddamn it soo, What's wrong. Didn't i tell you to call me during emergency?" He bites his lips and pat around the place that i knock myself. I bite mine because I don't want him to witness this. I press my face into his shirt to hide it then i sob and sob. This is when he fully embraces me tight.

"I can't remember anything, Jongin. I can't. It's dark and empty. I can't remember you, I forgot our times together, i look at these memories and I can't recall a thing. i'm sorry. I can say sorry as many times as you want me too-"

then he cuts me off "Fucking hell, Soo!!" He pulled me out and stares right into my soul. I am intimidated by his sharp gaze. " Stop fucking blame yourself. stop apologizing. We talked about this once" He groans.

"but i feel like i burden you a lot. I feel like your patient is wearing thin, i feel like you're starting to leave me little by little, you hardly come home anymore. I can't remember my love for you, Jongin but I found myself thinking about you all day until I realize I fell in love you with all over again although it's like the first time for me. And I'm scared. What if you don't like me as who I am because I'm not him" I try to slow down and breath but it's suffocating me whole. I look at Jongin and he's crying as well. I never meant to make him cry, I never wanted him to see me like this in the first place.

His hand cups my cheeks and brushes off my tears with his thump "did I do this to you?" He asks. I shake my head wanting to tell him that it's my fault not his "Hurting you is the last thing i'd do. I told you I won't be going anywhere and I'm keeping the promise but I can't pretend like everything is okay. At one point it's painful just looking at you. At one point i need time to take in the reality that your memories gone. I let go of myself and went off road for some time. I do feel really bad for giving cold shoulder. But I really can't be next to you and act like I can kiss you, or hug you or be emotionally and physically intimate like I used to...like we used to..".

We become very silent afterward. My teary eyes staring at his. His mouth is still ajar from the weeping and his jaw is shaking a bit. Hands still cupping my face, he swiped his thump across my lips and continues "It's just..I've been at Sehun place..I'm sure you also forget about him but he's my best friend, the only person i can go to during hard times. I've been sleeping over at his place and he would console me..He told me to come home to you because you need me more than anything else, he knocked me out of my nonsense and I came back, i don't care if it's midnight, i just came running back. Back home, back to you".

As if being shield from a bullet, his words give me reassurance once again although i don't know for how long will those reassurance last but for now I trust him. Something bubbles up inside me, a sudden boost of courage and got me daring, the most daring i can ever be even though there's possibility of rejection.

"You can..kiss me if you want.." I mumble but eyes never detach from his. Given full permission, He leans forward until his soft pair of lips meet mine.

He starts off rough right away, not that i mind. I can taste the alcohol as he sucks the bottom of my lips aggressively. I slightly gap my mouth to allow access. He doesn't hesitate to devour me whole. My heart is racing at the pace of is suction, It's slow so I won't suffocate but it's very deep. He kisses me like it's his last time, pulling my body dangerously close to his it almost becomes one.

My hands are clamping either side of his shirt, We can taste saltiness of each other's tears. I know for a fact that this isn't our first time kissing but have you ever just wanting to go back and experience something for the first time again because you want to feel the pleasure and the excitement you initially felt..I'm grateful for this first time feeling because he completely sweeps me off the ground.

We're both out of breath, he pulls me away gently as he chases my lips, kissing the surface of it before letting go completely. I want to be with him, I want him as mine, i want his affection and love, I want to be greedy even if he has to love me as my past self so dare i ask "Can we start anew?...I want to make new memories with you..I know I'm probably not what you're asking for but-"

"you haven't changed, Soo... Not at all. Sometimes i came home seeing you obtaining the same Habit and posture you used to have and it almost deceive me as you being back. The face you made when you're immersed into reading or when you did something guilty...you always make me thought that you've remembered your love for me and that's why it's unbearable.." he pauses "oh god, soo, You're unbearable" he squeezes the life out of me and we embrace each other in the middle of the dim room at almost 1 am. Being in his arm is so comfortable and I'm mentally exhausted at this point. I take a deep breath, absorbing his faint cologne that puts me in a sedative state until my eyelids pull shut.

This morning feels exceptionally fresh. My battery is charged full for the first time in who knows how long. I think i slept like a baby last night. I wake up without struggling too much but i'm still in daze. I sense another weight at the other side of my bed but it doesn't take me more than a second to know who it is. It's none other than Jongin. I turn over to the other side expecting to see his sleeping face but instead meet with honey drizzle pair of eyes, softly opened lid and a handsome toothy grin. The soft hair that falls onto his forehead across his eyes make him looks even more ethereal. How the hell did i wake up to this guy for the past three years without passing out.

He mouths a good morning and kisses me on the forehead. I'm still holding my breath but i manage to say good morning back. He pulls me closer and nuzzles his face on my neck which tickles me a bit.

"You know, you fell asleep on me last night I didn't get to tell you. Today's our fourth anniversary" He kisses the slope of my collarbone. Hopefully he doesn't hear my obvious loud heartbeat. "coincidence? we start our day one last night as well" he adds.

"how do we celebrate this" i ask. technically, it's our fourth year together but for me it's our first day. I contemplate a little before

"how do you want to do it?' he questions my question.

"it won't be fair for you if i reset the whole thing. I don't want your experience for the past 4 years with me to be renewed just like that. We have photographed memories together..regardlessly, it was still me, Do Kyungsoo".

He rises out of bed with another stupid grin that I adore "well, Do Kyungsoo. Let's go on your first date with me".

I finish washing up after he's done and the time ticks 11:30, we sure slept in. I applied scar treatment gel on the half peeled wound on my forearm and grab my jacket. He takes me to the place where he had our FIRST first date after we finish our lunch and uneventfully enough, it was just at the park. I ask him to tell about our love story or how we met and he runs off to buy us ice creams and churros because it was what we used to had 4 years go. The date was minimal but i'm a minimalist so that helps.

I never knew how much fun it is just sitting in the park, catching the wind and laughing while spilling ice cream as it melts. Interestingly enough, He narrates about how that Sehun guy was the one who introduced us to each other. I was a senior in college trying to find resource for my thesis in order to graduate and sehun and i cross path several times in the library before sharing small talks and small talks lead to sharing each other's information. He told me to come to the cafe he worked part time during my leisure time and i actually went there. Jongin continues that I caught his eyes at first sight when Sehun introduced me as his library-mate and we hit off from there.

We take a lot of pictures at the park, we watch children play then we walk along the path until we decide to just catch a movie and finish our day with hot pot and soju. The day was very simple but that's how i like it. Just one peaceful day of creating new memories with him.

Two weeks has past. A lot happened, I visited Jongin coffee and greeted Sehun, we got to know each other again. For the whole week i busy myself with writing. I tried to continue my draft. I understood the flow of the story, there were notes left about all i need to know about its direction and I plan on challenging myself with Jongin's help. Instead of locking myself at home, I spent the whole day at Jongin's office. He insisted so plus, we can see each other more this way. sometimes when I'm unmotivated i work on the costumer table, people's flow and the gibberish sound of chit-chat throughout the whole shop boosted my inspiration and freshened up my brain much better. i'm still continuing to do so. I need any ideas i can get to finish another book.

Today mark my first month with Jongin and he is taking me out to dinner. No, Not at the 3-star Michelin restaurant, we agreed on that. We both hate the fact that people should dress a certain way to those types of high-end restaurant despite having the money to pay for the bills. We live quite low maintenance lifestyle. We settle in a local Italian family restaurant. After our three-course meals we're bumping on our ways with heavy stomach home.

I suggest movie night. Jongin retrieves wine bottles and glasses from the kitchen cabinet. He thought we could get some alcohol into the system, just a little. The surface next to me sinks as Jongin sits next to me, He pulls me closer and we cuddle, sipping wine as we go. Moments like this drift me away from the reality and just indulge in Jongin's presence and his warm touch. Have i told him i love him so much? Maybe i should say that as soon as possible.

I just remember randomly telling him I love him in the middle of the movie because i thought he'd wanna hear it. He said it to me many times, it's only fair that I say it back. I don't know how we get to this point but I'm now backed down the couch. We kiss and kiss until I forget about the existence of the TV.

His plush lips are so soft and cloudy, i get easily lost in it especially when he knows how to move so well. People say you can fall in love but don't get drowned. How can I not when He got me squirming for air to breath, subtle moans escape lips. His hands are digging my waist in a firm grip. Unlike when we kissed that night, this one started very gentle, a soft peck. He is taking his time sandwiching my lower lip between his, getting to know the movement of it against mine before it progresses to lingering kisses.

My breath hitches all the sudden, follow with a groan when he puts his weight on me, especially on my lower half. His crotch is subtly grinding against mine and Oh god, he got me half hard and weak.

"fuck, I can't resist you, Soo" He whispers to me when he breaks our kiss. He looks like some greek god with parted lips and in a daze. Fuck, I'm floored. Does he know how much his sweet words affects me? I take a deep breath, sucking up all the courage for this respond. Maybe the wine does help with this boldness of mine right now but that's the least i could worry about at this moment

"then don't resist me" I mewled as he works his veiny arms down my side and lower.

All the sudden, He scoops me up from the couch and gets my legs between his waist as i hook my arms over his neck. We resume our make out session until we reach our bedroom. He drops me on the bed. Unbuttoning the first two buttons of his flannel, He climbs on top of me and traces his lips on my jaw while I run my hand across his chest to his torso, feeling the hard abs underneath my palm. This man is unbelievably alluring. I feel his teeth slightly scraping the skin on my neck and he focuses on that one sweet spot at the crook of my collarbone while simultaneously stripping me off after asking for my consent several times.

we're skin to skin. His smooth yet toned body collides on me and I feel as if nothing can separate us. I run through his soft brown hair while enjoying the pleasure of his lips on one of my nipples before he moves to the other. I keep moaning his name and it seems like he loves it when i do that. Every move of his indicates how well he knows my body because holy fuck, I can cum untouched right here right now.

He stretches his arms toward the nightstand and grabs lube bottle and strips of condom. It seems like his patient his wearing thin. It's only fitting because he's been holding back for months. Heck, I throw my patient out the window long ago and I need him so much right now. I can beg if he wants me to.

Shiver shoots up my spine once he got one finger inside of me and the wetness of the lube makes me clench around the digit. He adds another finger and begins to scissor me open and I'm not afraid to voice out the pleasure. I want him to hear how much he turns me on. without even trying.

The lewd sound from the rubbing motion of the lube sounds so obscene. He caresses my inner thigh and trails a few soft suction around the area, taking his time, then he leans forward to kiss me again after he inserts his third digit and split me open. I bite his bottom lips to keep the groan in place. Sliding his condom on his rockhard length, he teases my dripping wet entrance before pushing its head into the cavern slowly at a time so i can readjust myself to his size because i feel extremely tight at the moment. A moment later, he's balls deep inside of me and I almost choked at the fullness in my asshole.

"Can I move now?'' He ask gently. The tone of his voice sends me to heaven and yes he should do that right now. I gave him a grunted nod then he begins thrusting in and out slowly while gradually building up. It doesn't take long for him to found my prostate. It was quick but like i said, He knows my body way more than i do.

"j-jongin...Ugh-" I couldn't even finish when He is aggressively fastening his speed that the slapping sound and creaking bed within each hard thrust. I throw every naughty words out at him without caring if they're profanities, what we're doing right now is not pure either so who cares. My legs are spread wider for his access when he decided to shove harder and i try to match my breathing with his pace or else i'd suffocate. My eyes are rolled from the intensity. My vision swims. I see blankness and I see stars. I am reaching my climax. i can't hold it back anymore, It's too good.

"I-I can't last longer, Jongin ,I-" I groan, feeling a knot in my lower region and it's begging for a release. I came, squirting out string of semen onto my stomach and it splashes a bit at Jongin's chest. Jongin thrusts a few more times before he comes as well. He drops himself onto me and heaves out air as the both of us are sweating beads. Exhausted, He pulls his softening length out, knotting the condom and toss it in the trash can next to our bed. He cups my face, kissing my eyelids.

"You did great" He says, sheepishly smiling at me and I pull him down for another kiss. "we should clean ourselves" He says, shifting from our position. I wail a long whine and grabbed his arm "I'm too tired. I need to sleep". And i totally did not think of the fact that I won't be able to walk the next day.

Another year in and so many things occurred but my memories still haven't come back yet but I'm still so gratefulo of every single day and It was good memories looking back. About a few months ago, I published my new books after submitting the manuscript to our publishers.

They approved of my new work and I was worried that my reader might sense difference in writing style and started doubting my work but thankfully I got comments stating that I improved it for the better and i couldn't be more joyful.

I remembered busting into the bathroom while Jongin was brushing his teeth, jumping on him up and down because i received the news that my new book became no.1 best-seller of the month and of its genre, partly thanks to my already established pen name D.O but the reviews were also super positive.

"Soo!! Babe!!" Jongin calls me out from our room while i'm putting my shoes on at the door step. Groaning in annoyance because we're almost late for Sehun's wedding and my handsome of a boyfriend is still grooming.

"what now" i shout back

Can you look for my tie.." His voice is lowered, I can sense his pout from afar, how can i ever get mad at him? He's so cute. Call me smitten because i am. I tie my shoelace then head to him.

"Can you help me look for the red stripe tie with little polka doti on the darker stripes?" He says. Red stripes....I dug his closet trying to find the one that matches his descriptions.

"Isn't it the one i bought for you?'' I blurted while in a rush to find one.

"Yes! that-" He stops his track. Why isn't he continuing. gotcha, I said in victory when i find it falling off the to the side. I pick it up and hand it to him but he's frozen. His teary eyes are as big as a saucer and it's scaring me.

"what's wrong, Jongin" I grunted.

"soo...You bought that tie for me for my birthday 2 years ago..".

"yeah, of course I-" this time, I become stoic. What the hell..It's not what i think, is it. Jongin rushes to me and just squeezes me like a stuffed animal, not caring about wrinkling our suits.

"shit! I'm so happy, Babe!! You're making progress!!!" He exclaimed in joy and so do I. I didn't even think about it, it just comes to me, the tie. My past is opening up to me little by little and i can't wait to regain all of it. He kissed me hard on the lips, almost making me fall. He's more overjoyed than I am.

I chuckled from the reflex, also hanging to dear life so i won't fall "alright, alright big boy. I'm very happy as well but we're gonna be late" I give him a toothy grin, almost unable to restrain my excitement.

"oh yeah, right! let's go"

The future has never been this exciting to me.

**Author's Note:**

> Baekhyun and jongdae are kyungsoo's bestfriends since high school! that's why he remembers them
> 
> idk why this is initially supposed to be fluff and light hearted but everytime i try to write sth funny or fluffy it'd always turn out very dark and angsty lmfao
> 
> thank you so much for reading uwu i hope you enjoy this one shot
> 
> finished: 30/03/19


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